Et Tu, Katara
by Emeraldadrasteia
Summary: Where is Sokka in all the Zutara romances? The poor boy gets no Zutara love and I plan to rectify that... Warnings: Language, a very stream of consciousness style, and Zutara. :D
1. Chapter 1

Many thanks to my betas: kawaiilyn and typo1138 (both on LJ)**.  
**

**Et Tu?**

**Part One: Struck**

Now I'm mostly an unassuming guy. Having a freaky sister has taught me to blasé in life. Shit happens, but if everyone freaked out about it, the floor would get pretty dirty, you know? So I have a laid-back lookout on life. Katara says that I'm a worrywart and a complainer, but _I_ think I react pretty well in the face of new situations. Usually.

But, take my sister, Katara. She's crazy! If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be on this whirlwind of danger and despair, would I? I mean, it was really cool to get to know Aang and make him and Momo and Appa part of our new family and all, but I'd rather be home with Gran Gran's stewed sea prunes. Yummm.

I think the only thing that's giving me incentives to go along with Katara and Aang is the opportunity to kick some serious Fire Nation ass.

Like Zuko. Gods, he pisses me off _so much_.

Okay. I'll admit that our first encounter wasn't the best for me. I was feeling pretty humiliated about it until I got to poke his head off the ship. That was fun.

But I really want to get back at him. Zhao would be the first on my list for what he did to Yue, but Zuko always make a great alternative archenemy.

Yep, I'm definitely feeling more confident now, you see. It's my birthday, and although we're in the middle of the woods in the middle of who-knows-where, I'm going to take the time to appreciate that I'm sixteen.

I'm officially a _man_. That is just awesome. I know today's going to absolutely perfect...

Okay. Seriously? Where the _hell_ are they?

Usually, I'm the one in charge of getting food, and thanks to my manly gathering skills, I'd actually bother to come back to our camp _in __time_.

Today, to give me a break for my birthday, Katara and Aang volunteered to get berries and nuts and all that stuff. It's been cool to be able to relax and all, but now I'm getting worried. It's been two hours since they've left.

Now, if _I_ were the scout, I'd have been back already and enjoying my dinner. Katara, on the other hand, has these weird girly notions abut flowers and nature and practicing her bending. And Aang? Well, he may be the Avatar, but he's not exactly the most attentive kid in the world.

Sure, the two of them are good benders. But that won't help them much when they're in the hands of the Fire Nation army...

I'm leaving camp to find them. I told Appa to keep a watch on the fire (I'll be thankful if he keeps it from spreading throughout the forest) before setting off in the direction Aang and Katara had left. They _better_ have a good excuse for this.

Well. This is stupid.

Nobody attacked me. I was completely alone.

And, somehow, I've gotten myself caught in the brambles of a ridiculously sticky pricklybush trap, no doubt planted by the hunters in this area.

I. Can't. Move. I can't even see properly through all these thick leaves.

Damn Earth Nation. Why can't they Earthbendify all these stupid, attacking shrubs away?

Great. I'm stuck here until someone finds me, or until I wriggle out somehow, or until I _die_ in this Leafy Trap of Doom.

This is a very compromising position. Let's see if I can yell to attract attention.

My throat hurts like hell. I've been calling for help for about over hour by now and nobody is coming.

Ugh. And I'm hungry.

Wait! Was that Katara?

The good news? My sister is alive and well.

The bad news? She has no clue that I am right in front of her.

This isn't due to a lack of trying on my part. I wiggled as much as I could and she noticed the bush that I was in, but then this damn _squirrel_ jumps out over me to her. She shrugged and looked away.

Now she's going around in circles. Lost.

I know the way back to camp but _she has to find me first_!

Grr.

She's given up walking around. She's put down her berries and nuts on the floor and is resting against the trunk of the tree nearby, taking a sip of water from her waterskin. I concentrate on healing my throat so that I can actually signal my presence. So far, no luck.

Then, a machete cuts through a curtain of leaves. Katara and I both jump.

"Out for another nightly stroll, peasant?"

She smiles for some weird reason. "You could say that," she says back to him.

Shit. Zuko's cornered my baby sister. I'm too scared to look! Oh gods oh gods oh gods...


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two: Sick**

I take it back. I take it all back. All of it.

I will never speak a word against my sister's bending abilities ever again.

Here, I'm thinking Zuko's going to turn her into a roasted seal, and she's fighting like a _genius_.

She is _kicking_ Zuko's ass.

It's fun to say that. I should say it more often.

"I must say that I'm rather impressed by your new tricks, peasant," Zuko says, pummeling Katara with a dozen fire blasts (she dodges them easily). "You've improved from last week."

Last week? What is he talking about?

"Maybe you're getting weaker, Zuko," Katara yells back. Did I mention how much I love her right now?

She throws him a water whip, which he avoids (she should have gone for his head).

Zuko stops and throws his last fireball away from her, to my side, missing my trap by a good six inches.

"Maybe you're getting delusional, Katara..."

Since when has he been on first-name basis with--wait. What is he doing? Why aren't they fighting any more? Why is he moving closer to her? _Why isn't Katara getting away?_

"_Maybe_ it's your fault, Zuko." She's SMILING! And now she's moving towards him too. What the _hell_-

"Maybe it is," Zuko replies, still grinning like a wild animal. I could see their silhouettes in the moonlight as they stood in front of each other, waiting.

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Katara whispers. _Whispers_. This is so wrong-

"This." Zuko smiles wickedly and my stomach is freaking out and they lean in and they-

ASDFGHJKLSVCZDYMNBVAOWUE!

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What... the... FUCK?

I... this... ew... fuck fuck fuck... GAH!

My voice is still dead and I can't move a muscle. I'm hungry and paralyzed from the neck down in a cramped cage and MY SISTER'S MAKING OUT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

With _Zuko_. Ugh. This is a horrible dream, isn't it?

Where the _hell_ is Aang?

Stupid bald monks with Avatar powers and no sense of direction...

I wish Zuko was a monk, instead of a growling sexual predator on my gullible sister.

Because then I might actually feel sorry when I'm kicking his ass. But in that case, he'd be a celibate and all, and he wouldn't be hunting Aang or be with my sister. I guess that's kind of circular logic or something. Damn.

She _cannot_ be possibly enjoying this.

Yue and I were definitely not _this_ serious...

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"I have to go," she finally says as they break apart. I roll my eyes.

"You could always leave them," he says in his breathless voice, holding her hand.

"I can't leave Aang or Sokka!"

"But what about me? Can you leave me?"

"I... Well..." she stutters back. I groan to myself.

"You'll have to make that choice someday." He pulls her towards him for another kiss.

_Just_ when I thought it was all over...

Okay, never mind. It was relatively quick.

"You could always join _us_," Katara says.

"Ha! As if!" Zuko snorts back. He took the words out of my mouth.

"Well, until next time, then, I suppose," she says softly. If this wasn't about my sister, I bet I would find this scene kind of endearing and cute and sad or something. I'm a romantic like that.

She turns to leave and then stops.

"Wait. I'm lost. You wouldn't know how I'd have to get back to camp, do you?"

Zuko raises his eyebrow.

"Please help me," she pleads, giving him the Katara Puppy Face™. No one can resist...

"All right, fine. We'll go look for your stupid friends. I'm leaving as soon as we find it, though. Your brother would probably impale me or something."

That's actually a good idea. I should do that after I stick my boomerang in his head, twist his neck and kick him until he cries.

"He's not so bad, Zuko. I bet you'll find that, once you put your differences aside, you two are really similar."

"Pfft," Zuko says.

My sentiments exactly.

Great. She not only obliterates my faith and trust in her, but also now leaves me while in the arms of her newfound Firebending prince-lover-boyfriend-thing. Alone. In the dark.

Hungry as hell on my freaking birthday.

Shit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three: Speak**

"Oy! There you are!"

Why does it feel like someone's carrying me?

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"I found him."

"OH MY GODS IS HE ALIVE!"

"Katara, he's breathing. Give him space."

"Yeah. He's paralyzed by the darts in one of our prickly-bush traps. And, by the looks of it, he's got a really bad case of laryngitis too. Poor kid."

"Yeah, and it was his birthday too."

"Well, that just sucks."

"Yeah..."

"Good thing you came to us, kid."

"And good thing Katara found her way back by herself, so we didn't have to search for her too. Right, Katara?"

"Oh... yeah... sure..."

"Well, you should let him rest. He needs it to get better. It's a nasty poison... but very effective for catching deer-rabbits!"

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"Gnargh!"

My entire body hurts so much.

"He's awake!"

Where the hell am I?

I see my sister.

"Katara, you idiot..."

"He's mumbling something. He's delusional..."

This was coming from the girl who had fallen in love with Zuko. Ouch.

A tall man dressed in a hunting outfit pats my shoulder.

"You'll be alright, kid," he tells me. "Your friend, Aang, found us just in time. And your sister hasn't left your side since we brought you here."

I glare at her.

"Where am I?"

"Well, this is my humble home," he replies, "and I hope you rest up. Your friends tell me you're rather fond of eating and my wife's promised a wonderful meal..."

"Thank you for saving me," I say and he smiles back.

"No problem, kid."

"I was really worried about you," she tells me.

"Were you?"

"We both were," Aang chirps in.

"He's the one who went to the nearest village when we found that you were gone."

"Thanks, Aang." I am sincere about it.

"That's what families do, right? We have to care about each other."

"Of course," I say, not so sincere anymore. Katara looks away for the briefest second and then turns back to me.

"Hey, Aang, I just need to talk to Katara for a bit. Could you give us a few minutes of privacy?"

"Sure!"

He leaves, off to wherever his short attention span leads him. I sigh pointedly and look at Katara.

"I have something for you," she says, and I gulp, half-expecting her to pull out a newborn baby. That would have completed my misery.

But no. She hands me a bowl full of scrumptious-looking _stewed sea prunes_. I nearly cry in joy.

"Happy belated Birthday," she says quietly. "They had a merchant from the North at the market and I bought them for a bargain price and cooked them myself. I'm not as good as Gran Gran but..."

I stop listening. I'm in Nirvana right now.

I finish the meal quickly while Katara awkwardly stares at the opposite wall.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Ilikesheetalod," I say, still munching on one last prune. And then I swallow. And burp.

Katara winces.

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"So what did you want to talk to me about?" she asks. I tense up a bit.

Sure, I had been planning to yell at her and scream and a whole bunch of others things that I had practiced in my head for the moment.

But then she gave me those delicious stewed sea prunes.

Damn.

I feel a bit guilty.

Maybe...

"I had a dream," I finally tell her.

"Okay," she says, looking a bit confused.

"You were with Zuko."

"What?"

"Yeah, you were fighting him. Beating him too."

She smiles. Sort of.

"And then, suddenly, for no reason, you two _kissed_. And it turned into a nightmare"-her smile drops from her face-"probably because I was so hungry. It gets to my head. Thanks," I say, giving the bowl back to her.

She grins. She's happy, you know.

Hey, if this means that I have to play the idiot with her for a while about last night's... proceedings, whatever. I'll do it because I care for my sister.

But.

She is never going out by herself _again_. I'll make sure of _that_.

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"_Such a muddy line between/ The things we want/ And the things we have to do."_ –Sheryl Crow

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_fin_


End file.
